With over 250 members in the CYLL Network, it’s safe to say – the #1 problem in the group we hear day in and day out, is…
Fear.
Tell me if you find yourself saying one of the following phrases…
- I’m afraid I won’t be able to make any money {fear of lack}
- I’m afraid the competition is too fierce {fear of invisibility}
- I’m afraid I’ll let down my clients and take on work I can’t do properly {fear of looking stupid}
- I’m afraid I’ll have to go crawling back to a 9-5 because I’m not cut out to be a business owner {fear of embarrassment}
- I’m afraid I’ll make a huge mistake that will cost me in time, money, and reputation {fear of failure}
Here’s what you need to know about fear. If we broke it out with percentages, here’s how it pans out.
- 50% of the time, what you fear doesn’t even happen.
- 40% of the time, what you fear doesn’t happen with the intensity you thought it would.
- 10% of the time, the fear comes to pass and you come out the other side stronger and more equipped than if you hadn’t gone through it.
The feeling of fear itself is painful. We do ANYTHING to avoid it, even when many of those mechanisms actually perpetuate fear rather than deal with it.
For example, worry.
When we feel fear, one response is to worry. Worry starts to carve a pathway in the brain, and each day we ruminate it on it, the path gets more and more etched in the brain. Eventually, your neurons fire down that path, just out of pure laziness, and worry becomes an ingrained habit.
Other people when they feel fear, they block out anything that triggers that fear.
When you do this, you stop the flow of thoughts, ideas, and people that can actually help you overcome the fear! It’s the provincial “bury your head in the sand” reaction in order to numb yourself. But as you do it, you silence that which may help you overcome the obstacle you’re facing.
Others when they feel fear, they lash out or fight back.
Maybe you look for weaknesses, holes, or scams to justify why you’re fighting against what you fear. Blame enters the picture. Tremendous energy is wasted when you fight back.
So what’s the solution to feeling fear?
Feel it.
Give yourself five or ten minutes to feel the emotion. It’s scary, but you will not die – I promise.
How to Get Your Freelance Gig Started Without Writing A HUGE Overwhelming Business Plan or Wasting Tons of Money!
Get the 42-page Freelance Business Planning Workbook free for a limited time! Just enter your name and email below.
If you’re the type of person who worries…
Remind yourself of something SUPER important.
When your worst fears come to pass, the grace and strength to overcome it come along too. You can’t anticipate how you’re going to deal with your worst fears because you’re not also equipped with the adrenaline and strength that pump through you when the fear comes to pass.
If you’re the type of person who buries their head in the sand…
You stop yourself from hearing the lessons to be learned and the solutions that prevent the fear from coming to pass. Burying your head means elongating the pain of feeling fear, plus elongating the pain of whatever it is you fear.
An example would be the person who refuses to go to the dentist even though there’s a painful toothache. Every day that goes by, the situation gets worse while you live in denial.
If you’re the type of person who fights back…
Imagine you only have so much “solution energy” in your body and mind. If you spend your time looking for someone to blame or something wrong, you waste your solution juice on the wrong topic. You need to save that for the solution!
People who fight back when they feel fear, often don’t realize how much their perspective is skewed.
Fear doesn’t go away when you hit success. So if you push through the fear of making enough money, or making a mistake, new fears come along.
It’s not situation-dependent if you’re a chronic feeler of fear.
Which means…you’re missing out on opportunities and lessons and life and experience and all that good stuff because you’re afraid, and you think once you overcome the fears you have right now, today…you’ll be better..and YOU WON’T.
Because fear doesn’t go away until you learn how to deal with it…..period.
Let’s bring this into freelance work for a minute. Let’s talk down and dirty details.
#1 You’re afraid you won’t make enough money. You think, that if you just make $3k a month, your worries will go away. Guess what? The fears and worries will only get bigger as you make more. Because at the root of this fear, is the idea that money is in short supply and you can’t seem to get ahold of it and it will always be something you have to scrape up and find.
#2 You’re afraid the competition is too fierce. What would have happened if Apple thought this when Microsoft nearly crushed them with the Windows platform? Competition means there is a market. What you actually fear, is not being important, visible, or valued. The one person that can give that validation…is you. You are valuable, visible, and important. The more you believe it, the more others will too.
#3 You’re afraid you’ll let down clients. Guess what…you will. And you’ll live. And so will they…because guess what, you’re not perfect! Believe it or not, these mistakes actually help you succeed in the long run, because they teach you MORE about what to do and how to work, than when you’re successful. Failing fast is actually a great idea and helps you work and build your skillset quickly.
#4 You’re afraid you’ll have to go back to a 9-5. Most people who set their minds, hearts, money and focus to building a business, EVEN IF THEY FAIL…don’t regret building the business. And of all the businesses you can start, a freelance one actually has the LEAST amount of risk because the overhead is so low. If you get to this point and go back to a 9-5, most likely you’ll actually WANT to. And if you can’t bear to go back, chances are…that grit and persistence, EXACTLY ensures you will be successful and so it’s totally unfounded.
#5 You’re afraid you’ll make a huge mistake that costs you time, money, and clients. See #3. Failing fast is normal and actually preferred in order to grow quickly and gain the experience you need.
I hope this has been helpful for you! One of the things I’ve done to deal with my fear, is to hang out with those who can snap me out of it…quickly and efficiently. You want to use peer pressure with a positive angle. Use other peoples’ success, positive mindsets, and experience to help you rehearse a new motto. We’re waiting for you in the CYLL Network where you’ll be inundated with fear crushing help to push you forward!